Time

Since I am on Christmas break, I have finally been able to be dedicated to reading for pleasure rather than for my knowledge of social work. Pleasure reading has always been a highlight of mine during every break of school I have. I always tell people to give me a week at the beach, Nicholas Sparks, and I am set. 

I have owned a copy of One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp for about three years now. In those three years of ownership, I have tried to start the book at least half a dozen times. Since something always came in the way of me and my attempt to read this book I retired it to my self. This August, I picked it up again. Since I started Grad School in August as well One Thousand Gifts soon became replaced with Research Methods, Human Behavior, and Social Work skills. Sadly, yet another thing came in the way of finishing the book. The last week of classes, I made it a point to not buy any other books until I finished this one. 

This week I have gotten to work a few hours at the Child Development Center I worked at during Undergrad. Most of these shifts were during nap time and we are allowed to bring books to read during that time. Nothing says Joy like the sound of snoring babies and a good book. Which begins one of my items on my "Gift List." (more to come on that in a later post)

5. The sound of snoring babies.

Today, while I was reading and hearing the snores in the back ground, God spoke to me through Ann's words. 

"Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, line in the wake of all the rushing...Through all the haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away." 

I run out of fingers counting the times where I have rushed the time away. I have done it several times this semester actually. I did it all throughout undergrad, thinking things will be "better", "different", things will "slow down", I'll find better "routines." I'll "work out more", I'll "hangout more." All these various things that I say will happen after the WAITING stops. I realize after reading those words that we will always be waiting: If you get married, you'll be waiting to start a family, If you have children you'll be waiting on the Grand kids. If you have a successful career, you'll be waiting on a promotion. 

The time during the WAITING is what makes life beautiful. The times where we just take the time to be and enjoy the mess. The chaos that life brings, The papers, The portfolios, the lectures that prepare us to be professionals. Being fully present in the moment. Not thinking about what is going to go on two weeks, six months, or years from now. By seeing the present moment we are able to see the gifts that God has given us within those moments. We are able to experience authentic eucharisteo (Joy). "When I'm present, I meet I AM, the very presence of a present God. In His embrace, time loses all the sense of speed and stress and space and stands so still and...holy." In those present moments we can see how faithful God is to us by counting those gifts that he delivers for us. 

I pray that every day I live, I live for that day. Seeing the eucharisteo. Seeing the miricles. Seeing the ordinary. 

xoxo, 

Mindy